Event #9 - Tim Nixon Went to Glory
I will jump straight to the point.
You need a mentor.
In high school? You need a mentor.
In college? You need a mentor.
Starting in your career life? You need a mentor.
Engaged? Young married? Stepping into parenthood? Kids entering elementary school? Middle school? High school? College? About to be an empty-nester? Staring down the barrel of retirement? Walking through a season of grief? Dealing with unexpected illness?
You need a mentor.
Someone has walked those steps before you. They have learned by experience. They have made mistakes and can help you avoid them. They know the struggles and can listen with empathy and compassion. They have felt the joys, wept through the sorrows, persevered in the trials, emerged on the other side with the scars to show for it and the wisdom that often can only be won the hard way: through experience, grit, and perseverance.
Let me tell you about one of mine.
He passed away a couple years ago, but rarely does a day go by that I do not think about him.
His name was Tim Nixon. If you are from Liberty, then the name is probably familiar. It may be beyond familiar to you. There is a strong chance the name is significant to you for any number of reasons.
That his life crossed paths with yours and left you different.
That his infectious joy rubbed off on you in one of your darkest seasons.
That his care and interest in you made you feel seen when you were not sure whether or not anyone cared that you were alive.
That his constant presence was a reminder that consistent effort invested repeatedly in one place and one direction can end up making a world of difference.
That his intentionality with your children not only impacted their lives, but your entire family.
Sometimes, after a person has passed away, we have a tendency to look back at their life and accentuate the positives while glossing over the negatives. Let me assure you that I am not doing that here. Tim Nixon’s life lived up to the hype in every way. Exceeded it. And the closer you got to him, the more apparent it became.
Some more of what Tim was known for and is remembered for:
Character - He did the right thing, even when it was not to his immediate benefit.
Integrity - He was the same man no matter what setting you found him in.
Commitment - He worked in the Liberty Public School District and coached the Liberty Cross Country program his entire career. He did not talk about it much, but I know there were offers to go elsewhere. Bigger places. More prestigious. That was never his thing. He just wanted to make an impact, maybe only a few inches wide, but ten miles deep.
Relationship - I think almost everyone felt like they were Tim Nixon’s best friend. I do not know who his best friend actually was, but I suspect it was me.
Humor - He had stories for days, and sometimes the telling of them felt like they would take a few days. But you were certain to laugh.
Humility - I could illustrate this with 100 stories, but suffice it to say that Tim loved to shine the light on other people. As soon as you turned it toward him, he deflected it somewhere else. And it was genuine, not false.
Service - If something needed to be done, he just did it. You did not even have to ask.
In all reality, I am fairly certain that these were a couple of Tim’s best friends.
If you are reading this and did not know Tim personally, I get that you are probably thinking, “Wow, really?” The answer is yes.
I fear I may be selling him short.
I knew Tim when I was in high school in Liberty. He was coaching cross country. I did not run for the program. I played soccer. They won a state title my senior year. He never let me forget that I missed out on it.
Our lives first really bumped into each other when he asked if I was interested in being an assistant cross country coach. I did not know anything about distance running. He was undaunted by that. He could teach me that part.
I said yes. One of the best decisions of my life.
For nine years, I not only coached alongside Tim Nixon, but he brought me under his wing. We spent every morning and every afternoon together on about 275 days a year. He would call and ask if I wanted to go lunch about 5 minutes before he was about to eat. I always said yes. We typically ended up at Godfather’s for pizza or Rancho for “a big ol’ burrito.” I did not ever want to miss what he might have to say.
His whole family brought my wife and I into their life. They modeled marriage, parenting, and family to us. They shared their table with us. We played games together, watched sporting events. Normal stuff. But I never wanted to miss it. When I transitioned to being the Lead Pastor at LCF, he loved to introduce me as one of his assistant coaches and his pastor. I had to fight back tears any time he said it.
Tim (right), Robert Marquardt (left), and me (middle) had thousands of conversations like this over the course of nine or ten years. Me running my mouth, them patiently listening, each waiting to say in five or six words something that would have taken me five or six minutes.
Then, not long after midnight on Monday, November 27, 2017, the phone rang. I actually ignored it twice. Why is someone calling me at this time? Because Tim had passed away, that was why. A sudden heart attack shortly after enjoying Thanksgiving weekend with his wife, children, and grandkids.
There was a flurry of activity.
A dazed drive to the hospital to be with the Nixon family.
Phone calls to the Liberty Public School District and the other Liberty Cross Country coaches.
An early morning meeting with the cross country team to let them know.
The planning of a funeral and memorial service.
Organizing a run in his honor on the morning of the service.
I was asked to be one of two pastors that helped lead his memorial service. About 1400 people showed up. What do you stand up to say about man like Tim Nixon in that kind of moment? I cried a lot and shared what I could about a man who had changed my life.
But here is the thing about Tim Nixon. He did not change my life with the sheer force of personality that was Tim Nixon. He changed my life by using the whole of his life to direct my eyes to Jesus. The character, integrity, commitment, relationships, humility, and service? Those were part of Tim, but they were entirely of Jesus. And he was not shy about making that known. That day at his memorial, we did exactly what Tim would have wanted, we celebrated Tim Nixon by making a big deal out of Jesus.
That is the kind of life I want to live.
Tim Nixon is one of the instruments that God used to instill it into my heart and life.
You need a mentor.
I know, I am a pastor, so I have to say the Jesus-y thing, right?
I mean this from the depth of my being:
“You need a mentor who relies not on their own insights, wisdom, or experience. You need a mentor who knows that all of that is rubbish compared to knowing Jesus.”
I was lucky enough to have Tim Nixon in that role in my life for nine(ish) years.
I often catch myself saying the things he would regularly say.
"You have to eat somewhere.” (always in connection to inviting you to eat with him)
"It is never as easy as you want it to be.” (a constant reminder that hard is not bad)
"Hard work changes things.” (the encouragement to hang in and keep plugging away)
"I am reminded of when Jesus said…”
Those are the times I really dialed in. Tim Nixon was about to tune me into what actually matters.
I would be remiss to not mention a few of the other men in my life right now who are faithful, consistent, encouraging, Jesus-reminding mentors in my life. They have combined to shape much of my life over the last 10 years and who I am as I step into 2020:
Scott Hickox — He is a pastor in St. Louis, but was the Associate Pastor and my supervisor at LCF when I first came on staff as the Youth Pastor. He is never afraid to ask me the hard question or say the thing I need to hear. We did Tim Nixon’s funeral alongside one another. I would not have made it through without him there.
Dave Schirmer — He was the Associate Pastor and my supervisor at my first job out of college, Gashland Presbyterian Church. Dave took a chance on me as the youth pastor at GPC when there was no good reason to do so. He is one of my most faithful cheerleaders and encouragers to this day. When something challenging comes up in my life, Dave will listen, offer some thoughts, pray for me, then smile and say, “I look forward to seeing how you handle that,” knowing full well that he is going to help me step-by-step.
Merle Mees — He is the Lead Pastor at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church. I alluded to this in an earlier post, but when I resigned at PVBC, I did not do so in the most gracious of ways. I said harsh things. I left in anger. Years later, when my transition to the Lead Pastor role at LCF was announced, Merle was one of the first phone calls I received. I did not deserve that phone call from him. A picture of grace. He has walked alongside me faithfully since that day.
Robert Marquardt — He is another of the men I was privileged to coach alongside for 10 years. A fantastic question-asker. An even better listener. A model of listening first and speaking second. As faithful a presence in my life over the last decade as anyone.
What about you? Do you have one? Maybe you should send them a quick thank you.
Do you not? Time to find one.
Maybe you also need to consider being one.
It could change someone’s life.
It could also change yours.
I will end with one of my favorite pictures of Tim.
My wife took it on the bus to one of our out-of-town cross country meets.
There he was, front of the bus, reading the words of Jesus, feet propped up.
Tim Nixon died in 2017, but that day was the day he actually came to life.
He went to glory. To be with Jesus. The One he loved most.
Sometimes I like to think of him, at the feet of Jesus, seeing to Him in person.
I will go join him one day.
The thought of it is enough to make me giddy.
Seeing Tim? Oh golly. That sounds amazing.
Seeing Jesus? There is the real treat.
At least, that is what Tim always wanted to make sure I understood.
