Event #8 - A Brotherhood Forged Over BBQ
The names are tragically familiar.
Eric Garner - New York, 2014.
Michael Brown - Ferguson, MO, 2014.
Walter Scott - Charleston, SC, 2015.
Freddie Gray - Baltimore, MD, 2015.
Alton Sterling - Baton Rouge, LA, 2016
Philando Catsile - Falcon Heights, MN, 2016.
The last of that list happened on July 6, 2016. Melody and I were on vacation in northern California. The next day, on July 7, 2016, a man in Dallas, TX opened fire on police officers. Five lost their lives. The deadliest attack on US law enforcement since September 11, 2001. Their names are not as common in American memory, but they should be.
Lorne Ahrens.
Michael Krol.
Michael Smith.
Brent Thompson.
Patricio Zamarripa.
In August and September of that year, Colin Kaepernick began to kneel during the national anthem before NFL football games. Other players joined him.
Everyone had an opinion about it all. I would guess that most still do.
In the summer of 2016, racial tension between blacks and whites in America, which has always percolated just beneath the surface of American consciousness, felt like it was boiling over in an uncontrollable way.
My intent here is not to begin a debate.
In fact, the very reality that some reading this are likely feeling their blood pressure rise and are fighting to suppress an escalating need to hammer away in a comment section highlights exactly what I hope to bring to the surface: Particularly in the summer of 2016, and continuing through today, having a balanced, nuanced, productive conversation on the topic of race in America is regrettably difficult, if not impossible.
As Melody and I were heading home to Kansas City in July of 2016, I wanted to do something. To learn more. Gain perspective. Offer a voice, if I could. Be part of calming the waters. Change the world, or at least America. I had no idea how to move in that direction.
Then I got a phone call. It might have been a text. It was from Merle Mees, the Lead Pastor at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church in Liberty, MO. He was going to get a few guys together for lunch, leaders from around Kansas City who he knew were looking for the same opportunity I was. That lunch changed my life, my perspective, my outlook, and much of what I thought I knew about what meaningful change really entails.
The BBQ Brotherhood supporting Greg Ealey at his installation service at Colonial Presbyterian Church.
We always meet over BBQ at a different spot around town.
We have deemed ourselves the BBQ Brotherhood.
I will work left to right across the photo above.
They are good men. Some of the best.
Michael Randle, Lead Pastor and founder of Mosaic Bible Fellowship in Kansas City, MO. The man oozes gentleness and wisdom. He is not the most talkative of the group, but when he speaks, the table gets really quiet.
Merle Mees, Lead Pastor of Pleasant Valley Baptist Church in Liberty, MO. Merle’s passion to see racial righteousness grow in Kansas City is what brought the group together. He asks great questions, listens diligently, has a heart that truly breaks over injustices of various forms in our world.
Greg Ealey, South KC Campus Pastor at Colonial Presbyterian Church in Kansas City, MO. Greg has an infectious smile and laugh. He leads his congregation well. Has been a ministry fixture in KC for quite some time now. He also has an incredibly busy calendar, filled with appointments with influential people around Kansas City. If you want connected to someone, Greg is a good place to start.
Marvin Daniels, Executive Director/CEO at The Hope Center in Kansas City, MO. The Hope Center works to provide programs and opportunities for the growth and development of families and communities on the east side of KC. Marvin is their fearless leader. He also knows everyone. I’m not sure we have been into a KC restaurant where Marvin did not know at least one, if not three or four, people. He cares about people, knows the Bible deeply, and is incredible at seeing how the truth of scripture intersects with daily life.
Me, Lead Pastor at Liberty Christian Fellowship in Liberty, MO. Go back and read the bios of the people above again. I am “least of these” in every sense, but they are gracious enough to let me hang around.
We had that first lunch in PVBC’s conference room. I did not know what to expect, but knew I wanted to be there. I spent the whole first lunch listening, saying very little. I was honestly a bit intimidated by the company I was in. Merle opened by saying that he wanted to start a conversation in Kansas City about racial righteousness, but did not know where to begin. So, he started where he could, in his own circle of relationships. Things took off on their own from there.
We have covered a lot of ground in our travels for delicious BBQ.
We have covered even more ground in our pursuit of understanding and genuine, intentional relationship.
Over the last four years, we have gotten together regularly in order to talk, listen, pray, push each other, and expand one another’s perspective. I cannot speak for the whole group, but the ongoing experience has been one of the most influential in my life. Simply showing up and listening to the way Greg, Marvin, and Michael process the events of our nation has blown the doors open on my view of the world, its brokenness, and its injustices.
The BBQ Brotherhood in a suite at a Chief’s preseason game. Greg knew someone, of course.
Even more so, it has blown the doors open on my view of me, my brokenness, and the ways in which I may perpetuate, uphold, or unknowingly exacerbate said injustices. Greg, Michael, and Marvin have been incredibly gracious and patient to share with Merle and me the reality of their life experiences and perspectives. I have gotten into my car after lunch with these brothers on numerous occasions and wept, repented, or just kind of sat in stunned, contemplative silence.
We are all leaders of various ministries in the same city.
We have homes in similar areas.
And yet, the color of our skin has made the daily experience of our lives vastly different.
I intellectually understood that reality going into these intentional relationships, and yet I did not actually know it.
I understood it in theory.
I have since learned it in reality.
I left northern California in July of 2016 and wanted to affect some sort of change in the world. To fix what was broken. To bring masses of people together in order to have beneficial conversation. I still want to do those things. Maybe there will be an opportunity to do so one day.
Or maybe the five of us will just keep getting lunch.
I have a tendency to think in grandiose, idealistic terms.
What they have taught me is that you may not be able to change the world, but you might be able to change the world of one person. And that matters.
That was important, so I’ll say it again.
You may not be able to change the world, but you might be able to change the world of one person. And that matters.
You may not have the platform to be heard by millions of people.
Maybe you will not ever be in a position to fix an unjust or broken system across a city, state, or nation.
At different times in history, God uses different people to lead those drastic, world-changing movements.
Maybe that will be you. Maybe not.
Regardless, you can at least get to work in order to change you.
Then you can allow the change in you to bump into others.
“You can create meaningful change in the world simply by impacting the lives of those around you.”
How different would the world be each of us took that reality seriously?
Start a conversation.
Invite someone over for dinner.
Grab lunch or coffee.
Stop waiting for the government to do something and you start doing it.
By all means, keep pushing on the systems and structures, but do not neglect your daily actions.
And while you are doing it, pull some others along with you.
One more word for readers who are followers of Jesus:
Racial issues are gospel issues.
We can disagree about how to best address them, how they should be dealt with from the pulpit, and when and how the Church should engage with them in the culture around us. Those are good conversations and the American Church needs to keep having them. They need large doses of humility and a greater willingness to listen rather than talk. Weird…that sounds biblical.
But, we cannot, cannot, cannot, ignore the reality that racial issues are gospel issues.
Jesus died for people from every tribe, nation, and tongue. The cultural differences that exist in our world display the infinitely different and glorious aspects of the One who created the people that gave rise to each of those cultures and who died in order to redeem people from each of those cultures.
Eternity will be loaded with the sights, sounds, smells, and presence of every culture imaginable. And it will be to the glory of God. We will not ignore those differences there. We will not gloss over them with phrases like, “I do not see color or race.” We will absolutely see them. We will celebrate them. The Lord will delight in them. We will rejoice over the diversity present because said diversity glorifies the Lord.
We should do the same here.
We should be leading the charge here.
On earth as it is in heaven, right?
Merle got the group together in 2019 to film a video about the intentionality of our relationships for his congregation at PVBC. I am still a little bummed that there were not any burnt ends on the table when we walked in.
